Imagine this scenario: you want to move forward in your life. In fact, you’re starting to realize that there is no way but forward, and you’re excited for how you’ll feel more fulfilled and content once you make some changes.
But you find yourself making excuses for taking steps towards that better life. You keep yourself really busy or you watch a lot of television, or you suddenly decide to deep-clean your home. What’s behind all this distraction? You sense that there’s a part of you that just doesn’t believe that it’s possible for things to get better.
And there is a part of you that is so angry and fed up with this “laziness,” that hates all the wasted time and just wants to get on with it. This part of you may berate you with criticism and insults.
You aren’t taking as much action as you’d like, and you’re beating yourself up about it and feeling ashamed. The more ashamed you feel, the less likely you are to take action. These two parts of you are making each other more extreme. It’s a very painful cycle. I can help you get relief from this painful impasse.
Just being aware of this dynamic is an important step. It can help you to get a little bit of breathing room from feeling so lousy and stuck. Knowing that beating yourself up about your lack of action is not going to help, what can you do?
One tip is to sit down and write or journal for each of these sides of yourself. Interview them. Ask each what it is afraid will happen if it doesn’t do what it’s doing. Ask what the concern is if you move forward or if you don’t move forward. Acknowledge the concerns of both sides of you. This can help you further untangle this dynamic and allow for more understanding.
I work with clients all the time to help them get even more relief from struggles like this. Using Internal Family Systems (IFS) I can help you to dissolve the conflict within yourself so that you can wholeheartedly take the steps you want to take.
Clients report feeling lighter, calmer, more connected, more capable, present, and more self-love with IFS. They are able to be more aware of what they are feeling, where it may be coming from, and why. This helps them to have more choice in how they live and experience their lives.
Does this resonate with you? Would you like to know more? Check out the rest of my website for more info about my work. Sign up to the right to receive my newsletter with the latest blog and news. If you’d like to talk about working together, click to set up a complimentary phone consultation.
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Wishing you Peace, Joy, Authenticity, and whatever else lights you up,